


Staying Human

by Hino



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hino/pseuds/Hino
Summary: Despite the Combine takeover of Earth and the forced relocation to City 17, Barney is determined to still feel as human as he can.He wants to live without regrets....And get a tattoo.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Staying Human

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I had a better summary earlier but it flew out of my brain.
> 
> I did change this summary btw, don't freak out. One day I'll get it right.

The apartment Barney's been assigned to is a tiny one-bedroom place that reeks of old blood and rancid food. There'd been no thought as the Combine cut power to the sector, which meant that the fridges of the entire complex had all switched off together, contents still sealed inside.

Of course, a few people had opened the fridges and found this out the hard way, leaving a smell to permeate the complex. In a few weeks, Combine forces will arrive to take the rotten food away and repurpose it (although Barney doesn't know what that means), but until then, the smell remains.

But Barney's not the only one assigned to the one room apartment. The Combine aren't kind, and their enforcers aren't either. But they are human still, drunk on power and desperate to survive, yes, but human.

It only take a case of beers to get Barney what he wants.

Which is how Isaac Kleiner is assigned to his apartment, along with Eli Vance, and the very young Alyx Vance, barely two years old at this point. They each have a backpack of supplies and sentimental pieces, any extras being forbidden when they were all shuffled onto the transport pod that took them to the newly established City 17.

They unpack their meager supplies and decide then and there that Alyx gets the bedroom. The ratty sofa gets moved in there too, the three of them deciding to cycle out who gets to sleep on it. It's not comfortable, no, but it's better than the floor.

The four of them begin to fall into a rhythm of sorts. They all know each other, sure, but they've never been confined so close together for such extended periods of time. More than once Barney could hear Eli and Isaac arguing over the portal storms and how to reverse polarity or whatever the science types liked to do. More than once Isaac had blown up at Barney.

More than once, Barney had grabbed Isaac by the collar and slammed him against a wall.

But they all calmed down, and they never took it personally. The circumstances were out of all of their hands, and they much rathered the anger be vented between the three of them (excluding Alyx, for she was a child and had no hand in anything), than be directed at the Combine Enforcers, which would turn their pitiful number down to three.

And it evens out over time. They stop blowing up each other. Instead it becomes internalized, which they'd had many debates over whether that was better or not. Other times it became a driving force, causing Isaac to have more than one sleepless night, and several more leaps in scientific endeavors.

At least until the newly established Metrocops bust down the door and confiscated all of Isaac's science equipment.

His papers survived, only in part because of Alyx having tried out her attempts to draw a cat across almost all of them, rendering them useless in the eyes of the Combine.

(Later that week, Isaac would work out how to strip crayon oils from paper without damaging the ink.

Alyx would be allowed to draw on all the research papers she pleased.)

Six months into their stay in City 17 is when Barney says something, sitting at the coffee table with a mug of somewhat clean water, staring out the window at the apartment block across the road, currently under inspection from Enforcers.

"Y'know, I always wanted a tattoo. On my arm."

It sparks a silence, broken as Eli asks "what of?"

Barney laughs. "Back in Black Mesa, I found this thing. Called it a chumtoad. Chummy, for short. Told Gordon all about it. He loved the thing."

His smile turns melancholy at the mention. The others look grim. Except for Alyx, who toddles over to Barney with some paper and her bucket of half-broken crayons.

It's obvious what she's saying. Barney laughs and obliges.

He draws the Chumtoad and shows it to them. Isaac brightens. He knows this beast. He's seen it running around, much like one spots a mouse along the skirting board.

Eli borrows a crayon from Alyx, along with some paper and begins to draw. His rendition of the creature is leagues better than Barney's.

"I did the diagrams for Biological Research," he explains, drawing out each leg with ease and accuracy despite Barney's crude reference.

Isaac simply vanishes into the apartment complex with a murmur, leaving the three to discuss their new chummy toad friend.

The curtains are drawn close. They're not even curtains, just sheets salvaged from houses the Combine hadn't thought to empty. Everything's been ransacked now, but the goods are being put to use, and that seems to alleviate any guilt the remnants of humanity feel.

Lamps and candles are scattered around the room, along with boiled water and a few sterilized wipes. Barney sits on the kitchen chair, leaning on the backrest as Eli and Kleiner watch nervously.

Their guest stands with a small toolbox of goods. A fellow human, who is also accompanied by a Vortigaunt. There had been some unease about it, seeing how Vortigaunts had been involved with Black Mesa's attack, but there'd been a slow understanding over the past year, and Alyx had taken a shine to the creature.

It, in turn, had taken a shine to her, twisting vortessence in its hands just to amuse her.

The human, Verne, prepares himself. His toolbox opens and inside are needles and inks, along with a myriad of other things Barney cannot think to name.

It's funny, he thinks as Verne takes the picture of the Chumtoad, analyzing it. He told Gordon he'd never get a stick-n-poke, not after the disaster that'd been hidden on Gordon's right ankle.

At least he never forgot the characters for his Chinese order at the local diner.

As Verne gets ready to start, the Vort joins him, chanting softly, perhaps as a painkiller, or to just make sure the ink sticks.

Barney doesn't know. Neither does Eli or Isaac.

(Alyx thinks she knows, but she doesn't know how to say it.)

It takes time. Barney isn't squeamish, not at all. He's taken a lot of hits in Black Mesa, survived the unsurviveable, and done it without a HEV suit to back him up.

But the artist is working in less-than-optimal conditions, and every aggressive slam in the building, every patrol outside, every Overwatch announcement has them stopping. Art is an expression of self beyond uniformity. It's an act of rebellion. You can break the mold with it.

None of them know what will happen if they're caught, be it artist or canvas or onlooker.

So playing it safe is the only way.

Eli's the one who works out what the Vort is doing.

"Oh, it's mixing the ink?"

Isaac leans in close and Barney cranes his head. The ink swims ever so slightly beneath his skin. It's not as if Verne is a bad artist, but it helps blend colours, far better than the limited inks he has can. It makes it seem more natural, lifelike, and Barney can't help but laugh with joy as the chumtoad comes to life on his arm, metaphorically.

Sentient tattoos aren't quite in the scope of things yet.

The moon's high in the sky when they're all done. Exhausted, Barney drapes himself over the table, body sore and mind overwhelmed. The Vort is guided gently into a sofa they've managed to steal and lever up the seven flights of stairs to their apartment, and Verne joins them a moment later, falling asleep on its thin cushions.

It's a small victory for humanity, and an even bigger one for Barney and his new ink.

Later, Alyx draws on her skin with Isaac's preciously scavenged whiteboard markers and claims that she's got tattoos too.

Nobody has the heart to get mad at her.

It's only human, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Could it be a series? Who knows.
> 
> I just wanted Barney to have a tattoo.
> 
> Also I'm sorry it loses its way halfway through, I get distracted very easy.


End file.
